Music
I feel music is important to all of us in one way or another. Music can transport us back to happy times, not so happy times and every time in between.
The power of music
My work involves supporting individuals who have memory and cognitive decline and as I sit across from one of my clients whilst we are listening to classical music, our eyes are closed and we are both being transported somewhere in our own minds, my client then opens her eyes and says " This makes me feel alive".
Another client sings in my car whilst we are listening to the oldies on gold UK. She remembers the words of most of the songs played but is unable to remember my name or what she had for lunch.
Music is a universal language, a language that is understood by all, even when our memories fail us, even when our speech denies us. There is a song we remember when we are in love, through heartache and sad times including when a love one dies. Music brings us together both in times of joy and tragedy. Where there is music, no words are needed.
The Brain
I will not write too much about which parts of our brain is responsible for processing music as there are many articles written by experts on this subject, however I will attempt to highlight its importance especially in those with memory or cognitive issues.
Music can activate the hippocampus where our short term memories get stored and converted to our long term memories. Also involved in this process is our neocortex and our amygdala. Music can strengthen our ability to recall episodic memories which is why music is so powerful for people whose memory has been compromised. Our amygdala processes emotions and music can evoke strong emotional connections to certain memories. Musical memories are more resilient in conditions such as dementia because music is processed in several parts of our brains.
You can discover more about this by visiting Dementia.uk and clicking on the Music and Dementia link.
In people with a learning difficulty, music can provide a different way to communicate with out the need for words. Music can establish connections with others, express emotions, reduce stress and anxiety and increase confidence.
Connor was not really into music as such but he did communicate sometimes with tuneful hums that meant so very much and in his early days I felt him completely relax when we were listening to classical music. Please take a look at Jo Stilton's blog on SEND pathways website about the power of music to young people with special educational needs.
Music in Grief
You just knew it didn't you? Of course I was going to write about this as my blogs all have a theme of grief running through them. I make no apologies about that because I feel music has a huge part in grieving from the music chosen for the funeral to the music that reminds us of our loved one.
Music through grieving is expressive. It allows us to explore our feelings, express our emotions and provide some comfort. Music can help reduce emotional stress and anxiety and help us remember precious times with our loved one. Music can of course intensify our feelings of loss but the need for that connection is strong and music can be a lovely way to stay connected with our memories.
For those who struggle to communicate or are non-verbal, music can be a wonderful way of allowing them to express their grief and show through music their own memories of their loved one.
I have listened to a lot of music since losing Connor and there are certain songs I cannot listen to as they are too painful to hear. One of those songs is three little birds by Bob Marley. This is because it was on the radio on my way back from hospital one evening about a week before Connor died. There are lyrics in the song that go, everything is gonna be alright, and that is what I believed but sadly it wasn't to be.
Music at a funeral
Music at a funeral is Such a personal and powerful thing. Yes, we may chose the same song or piece of music countless many others have chosen for their loved ones, but the sentiment behind the choice is extremely personal.
The choice maybe your loved one's favourite all time song or a piece of music that is special between ourselves and our loved one. The words of a song may speak to us in a way that only we would know and understand or tells us and all those listening a certain something about our love one.
One of the songs played at Connor's celebration of his life was a song called Tiger striped sky by Roo Panes. Connor loved to look at the sky through the trees and before I even heard of the song I use to say to him " are you looking at the tiger striped sky" so when I came across this song I just had to play it as a tribute to him. Please feel free to listen on the tube link below.
Let music take you there
We all know what music or song triggers us. We may chose not to listen to a piece of music or words of a song because it is too painful right now, but in a much more pleasant and powerful way, music can keep us connected to our precious memories and our very personal interactions with someone we have lost.
Let that piece of music or special song take you there. Listen to that special connection, express your emotions freely either privately or a shared moment with friends. When my clients are saying things like " it makes me feel alive" wow what a power that is. I will never under estimate the power of music and what it can provide for the mind and the soul.
To discover more how music and music therapy can help with the pain of bereavement,please take a look at the following link.
I would love for you to tell me what song or piece of music is special to you so I hope you will feel able to share on here or even on Connor's Voice FB page.
Thank you for reading or listening to this blog. I will be taking a break from blogging for a couple of months as I am waiting for some very important news that I may share with you in my next blog.
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